"…What?"

"Did you enjoy it? Was she a good kisser?"

"Honestly…I don’t remember. I thought I was kissing you so it’s not exactly fair to comment."

She rolled her eyes. "I’m sure you remember something."

"I remember being horrified when I saw who it was."

"Horrified?"

"Well…because it wasn’t you."

She poked me on the nose. "I think you enjoyed it."

"Kayla…"

"I’m teasing, Jack," she said, kissing me on the cheek, "Sorry."

"It’s okay."

We lay down on her bed, wrapped in each other’s arms. She was silent for so long that I thought she might have fallen asleep when she suddenly spoke: "What are you thinking?"

"Thinking? How good this feels."

She squeezed my arm. "Anything else?"

"Do you want to ask if I’m thinking about Walburn?"

"…Yes."

I sighed. "Impossible not to."

She let go of me and sat up on the bed, her hand on my stomach. "I know you don’t need someone else telling you that they’re worried about you right now, but…I am. That’s why I want to know what you’re thinking."

"Just…how it happened. He just…died. Just like that." I snapped my fingers. "Alive…then dead. A second between them."

She stared down at me. "If I had listened when you came over, you wouldn’t have gone running," she said quietly.

"What?" I sat up as well.

"When Tara came back…she told me that you had been running because she suggested it. To help calm you down. Calm you down after—"

I saw where she was going and quickly cut her off: "Kayla…look, I hate what happened between us. But I’m not blaming you. You shouldn’t blame yourself. If you start blaming yourself for that, then I’m going to blame myself for Walburn, and then—"

"Why would you blame yourself?!" she demanded, "You didn’t do anything!"

"Neither did you."

She put her face in her hands. "I want to move on from this but…I don’t think that’s fair to you. I can move on from you kissing Tara, trust me, but…you’ve got way more than I do."

I leaned back against her pillows and stared at the wall. I didn’t know what I should be feeling right now. I had never known anyone who had committed suicide, or had even known anyone who committed suicide. I was completely on my own with this one.

Kayla’s hand found mine. No. I wasn’t on my own.

I pulled her in. She looked up at me with surprise at first but quickly relaxed and let her face fall against mine as our lips met. Her body leaned against mine, one hand running through my hair as our lips pressed more firmly against each other. My hand rested on her hip and rubbed close to where it curved into her rear.

She smiled into the kiss and wagged her rear a little bit. I laughed slightly, opening my mouth to allow our tongues to meet. It had only been a few days since we had been together like this but, with everything that had happened, it may as well have been a month.

Her hand slid out of my hair, down my neck, and lightly trailed along my shoulder, squeezing the giant knot. I groaned as the pain lanced through my shoulder, causing me to tense, until her hand relaxed and sweet relief replaced the pain. "Do you want a massage?" she asked, breaking the kiss.

I shook my head and brought her face back for a kiss. I needed this. This closeness. This love. Not to forget, but to reassure me that there was some light left in the world. A lot of it had gone out for me.

Her hands slipped under my shirt, trailing on my abs. I pulled her closer, wanting more, needing more. Our tongues were dueling frantically now as our breath quickened and our hands clutched with more passion. I could tell she wanted it just as much as I did.

But she still pulled back. "Jack…are you sure?" she asked hesitantly, "We can stop. I don’t want you to feel like you have to."

"I want to. I really do."

"Me too, baby," she said, curling my hair around my ear, "But after everything…Is it okay?"

I couldn’t talk anymore. I all but tackled her, pressing my lips desperately to hers as I lay on top of her. She gasped into the kiss but wrapped her arms tightly around me, mashing my face to hers as our lips smacked together in what was rapidly growing from love to lust. Not that the love wasn’t still there. Lust-love. Is that a thing?

Stop being distracted.

I eased some of the force out of the kiss, my lips leaving hers and softly traveling down her chin to her neck, lightly sucking on it. She moaned and ran her hands back through my hair, her legs squirming together as I continued to pleasure her neck. My hands caressed the curve of her breasts through her shirt. She thrust her chest forward into my fingers, her nails lightly digging into my scalp as her breath quickened.

I felt slight bumps in the thickness of her bra and looked up at her. "What is that?" I asked, flicking one of the bumps.

She giggled. "Oh, that." She slipped out of bed and quickly whipped her blouse off.

My jaw dropped. She was wearing a lacy, blood-red bra with various green bows around the edge of the bust. "I think you must have been feeling these," she said innocently, rubbing the bows at the top of the bra with her middle fingers while the index fingers lightly ran along the swells of her breasts.

"You’re an unbelievable tease, you know that?"

"Oh, you want teasing?" she asked. She hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her pants and shimmied them down, revealing a G-string that barely covered the heart above her mound. She turned, glancing over her shoulder as she mooned me, the G-string all but disappearing between her cheeks. "Does it flatter?" she asked in an affected Southern belle accent.

I looked up at her. "You were totally planning this weren’t you?"

She bit her lip coyly. "Yes…"

"Then why did you ask if I wanted to?"

She put a hand on my cheek. "Just because I wanted it doesn’t mean I would have demanded it. I would have stopped if you had wanted to." She glanced down at herself. "Would have been a waste, though, don’t you think?"

I seized her around the waist and drew her in. "Terrible waste," I agreed before sticking my tongue in her belly button.

She squealed and pushed me back on the bed. She climbed on top of me. "Slow or hard?" she asked.

"What?"

She started tugging at my shirt. "Slow or hard?" she repeated, "How do you want it?"

I let her take off my shirt, shivering a little as the cold air hit me fully. "I think that’s up to you," I responded, running my hand up to her breast and lightly squeezing.

She moaned appreciatively and replied, "Hmmm…slow. Ease into it."

My other hand curled around her back, trying to find her bra clasp. "Can do," I replied.

Because she was sitting on me, my arm could only reach so far. As a result, my fingers just sort of flailed and ineffectively drummed against her back, just out of reach of her bra clasp. She reached around, moved my arm out of the way, and deftly undid the clasp, letting the straps sag a little as the tops of the cups slid down, stopping just above her nipples.

"You can do the rest," she said teasingly, squeezing her breasts together with her upper arms.

I lowered the straps down her arms and slowly revealed her hard, pink nipples. I tossed her bra aside and leaned up, my tongue preceding my lips to her nipple and giving it a light lick before I latched onto it with my mouth. She held my head to her breast, moaning and pressing her chest against my face. My hands wrapped around her and slid down to her butt, squeezing it and molding it between my fingers.

I switched to the other breasts and lightly swatted her rear. "Mmm," she moaned in appreciation, "Again."

I complied, swatting it a little bit harder and feeling the vibrations in the other cheek. She was panting now, her hot breath warming my scalp as she leaned in to kiss me on the top of my head. I licked and suckled and lightly tugged on the nipple with my teeth, letting it snap back with a rewarding squeal-moan each time.

She was grinding her hips against mine, the thin fabric of her G-string allowing the bulge of my cock to tease her through my jeans. Her fingers were claws in my hair as she held me against her breast. "Oh, Jack…" she moaned, "You do that so gooooood…mmmmm…"

I took my mouth off her breast and stretched my head up to kiss her, my hands cupping her breasts and lifting them as I squeezed. She accepted the kiss eagerly, matching my strength and desire with a passion that egged us both on.

Lithely, she slid off my lap and glanced critically at my jeans. I smirked. "Gotcha," I said, undoing my belt and sliding down my jeans, leaving me in just my tightly-fitting boxers.

She trailed her finger down the length of my member. "Jack…I’m not trying to break the mood or anything, but…" She glanced up at me and bit her lip.

"What?"

"You’re sure?"

"Yes."

She smiled. "Okay."

The G-string slid off her waist. Frankly, it seemed like more effort than was needed; the thing would have probably snapped if you gave it the slightest tug. My eyesight swam for a second as the heart-shaped hair above her pussy was revealed, pointing down to the heavenly slit between her legs. I could smell the musk of her excitement, causing my cock to twitch in its confinement.

Kayla noticed. She leaned in and kissed my chest, pecking her way down my abs to my pelvis, where she took the waistband of my boxers lightly in her teeth and slowly tugged them down. My cock knocked into her head as it popped out.

"Sorry," I said, pushing my cock against my stomach. It was throbbing and pulsing with excitement, fueled by the excitement that was driving my desire for her. Carnal love, I guess you’d call it.

She shook her head and she managed to maneuver my boxers, with my help, down my legs and eventually off altogether. She spat them out (in a very ladylike way) and brought her hands up to my cheeks. "How do you want to do it?" she asked quietly

Honestly, I didn’t care. I just wanted her in every way I could. I stood up and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her to me as I kissed her hungrily. She kissed back, her hands trapped between our bodies. She pushed against me slightly to free them and I took a step back, falling back onto her bed. She smiled wickedly and crawled cat-like on top of me, straddling me on all fours with her breasts hanging just out of reach of my mouth.

"You didn’t answer me," she breathed, the little hair that wasn’t held by the hair-bow falling down along her face.

My desire was burning hotter than ever, a need to have the love and joy that being with Kayla brought. It didn’t have to be sex obviously, but…She was naked and excited. I wasn’t turning that down.

I leaned up to kiss her again, leveraging my body up so that I was sitting up with her in my lap. My arm encircled her and I twisted to the side. She gasped lightly and wrapped her arms around my neck to steady herself as I turned her around and lay her on the bed with me on top of her. She smiled up at me.

"Go for it," she whispered, opening her legs.

I leaned in to kiss her again, guiding my cock to her soaking entrance and letting the hardness of my cockhead tease the soft folds of her pussy. She moaned and moved her hips so that the tip of my cock slid all around her pussy lips, sending shuddering waves of pleasure through my groin. I took hold of my length and gently pushed the tip of my cock into her, her lips parting tightly as I entered her.

She sucked in her breath and her arms squeezed me to her as my cock pressed slowly into her. She was so tight, it was almost painful. Her excitement made the entrance a little easier but I still took it slow, sawing my cock steadily deeper and deeper into her with tiny thrusts of my hips. She was pressing her thighs tight against my hips, drawing shuddering breaths every few seconds as I continued my journey into her.

I was almost fully buried inside her when I took my mouth off of hers and kissed her jaw line. I brought her arms down from around my back and held her hands against the blankets as I continued to kiss her jaw and neck, breathing in her scent. She sighed in pleasure, nuzzling the top of my head with her chin.

My lips touched her collarbone as I suddenly pulled my hips back and quickly slid into her all the way, burying me in her. She squeaked and looked at me with wide eyes. "Are you okay?" I asked, lifting my head from her chest.

"Yeah," she said, breathing quickly, "Just didn’t expect it."

I went back to kissing the tops of her breasts as my hips rocked back and forth, sliding my cock in and out of her. She tried to lift her hands but I held them down against the bed. She moaned in teased frustration, rocking her shoulders as she attempted to break free of my grasp.

"Jack…" she gasped as I rocked my hips hard against her.

"Yes?" I asked, lifting my head with reluctance; I’d just been about to take her nipple in my mouth again.

"Please let go of my…hands…please…"

"Why?" I asked, quickening my pace a little.

"Because I…fffffuck…asked you too…pleeeeease…"

I considered holding on, just to see if it increased her orgasm, but she seemed to sense this and squeezed my hands with all her might, causing my fingers to bend backwards. I quickly let go and her arms snaked around my neck, pulling me in for a hard kiss as she used the leverage to thrust herself back against me.

Her hard nipples slid along my chest as her breasts heaved with every thrust. I had always loved watching her boobs move with the motion of our fucking but now I could feel it as well. The soft mounds of flesh tipped with the nubs of nipples teased and caressed my skin, forcing fresh blood to my cock and increasing its rigidness.

My mouth being locked on her gave me time to feel other things as well, things I probably just took for granted. Like the way her tongue lithely traced mine and curled around it during our slow love-making; fast fucking was accompanied by aggressive lashing. Her legs were wrapped around my waist but I had never noticed until now that she hooked her feet into each other right above my rear. Occasionally, when my thrusts slowed and became fuller and deeper, she would stroke my rear with her toes. How had I not noticed that before?

My mind was wandering, I know, but it had done little else in the past couple of days. I switched it off and returned to Kayla.

Our lips slid off each other and she squeezed her eyes shut and moaned. "Yes…oh, Jack…fuck yes…"

"Feel good?" Trite, I know.

"Oh, fuck yes," she gasped, giggling breathlessly, "Keep going…oh, don’t stop! Don’t stop…"

"Hmmmm…"

She gripped my head. "Don’t you dare."

"I don’t know…"

"Jack, I’m not going to beg."

I kissed her. "I wouldn’t make you." I reached above her to curl my fingers around the edge of her mattress and pulled, bringing my entire body up and deep into her.

She gasped loudly and her mouth fell open in a gigantic grin, her eyes rolling back in her head. She squeezed her thighs against me, her pussy tightening around my cock. Every time I slid back, it took more force to penetrate again but that only increased the pleasure. I don’t know if she could control it but I felt the muscles inside her squeeze me at random, always unexpected and always exciting because of that.

"How do you…do that?" I moaned as her pussy clamped on my sensitive cockhead yet again.

"What?" she gasped back, running her hands up and down my sides.

"You squeezing my…cock with your…you know…oh, God…"

"Pussy?" she asked with a giggle, "Oh, I’m so…naughty…"

I grabbed her by the waist and lifted her rear off the bed, spanking her with my left hand and getting a surprised giggle out of it. "Smartass," I grunted, holding her waist up in the air as I sawed faster and faster into her.

She couldn’t respond. I had found her spot and her hands were desperately trying to clutch at anything they could grab. Her head was still on the bed so her chest was at an angle, her breasts bouncing back and forth so fast that the nipples were a blur. If I hadn’t needed both hands to keep her waist up, I would have cupped them and rolled them around, teasing the nipples with my thumbs…

Should I set her down? The angle was perfect and she was going crazy, but I really wanted to feel those boobs…

Kayla raised her arms above her head and pressed hard against the mattress, lifting her whole body off of the bed in a spider-like pose. I stopped thrusting for a second in shock. "Keep going!" she barked.

I resumed my thrusting and she gamely held that position, rocking her hips up and down against my cock as her moans turned throaty. Her head lolled back, her hair tickling the covers of the bed, her breasts no longer moving as much since they were stretched against her chest. All I could see of her face was her chin; all the rest of her beautiful features were facing the wall upside-down.

I don’t know if it was because I couldn’t see her face anymore or the way that the angle of her body pushed my cock upwards inside of her, but I was suddenly seized with a mad fervor. I slammed myself into her as hard as I could, grunting, ‘Ungh!’ with each thrust. My chest was becoming tighter and my breath was catching my throat, but I didn’t slow down. I couldn’t slow down. I was on autopilot, rocketing my hips and cock into her so hard, I think it may have been hurting her. I know it was hurting me. I felt like the skin was being rubbed off of my cock.

But I couldn’t stop. All I could focus on was how good it felt (I know I said it hurt but…it still felt good). I could feel my head shaking back and forth, almost mad with the passion of our fucking. I was going crazy. Where the hell was this coming from?

What was coming over me?

Why wasn’t Kayla looking up at me so I could see her? It was like her head was gone…

The gunshot sounded in my head…

My hips stopped and Kayla fell back on the bed, her chin on her collarbone as she gasped for breath in gasps so big, they were soundless. Her fingers trailed aimlessly along the sheets of the bed, plucking at loose threads as if trying to cling onto something. I pulled out of her, the cold air striking her juices on my cock and making me groan.

She looked up slowly. "You okay?" she asked dreamily.

"Yeah," I replied as I sat down on the bed, knowing I didn’t sound like I meant it.

She laboriously lifted herself up off the blankets and pulled herself over to me. She nuzzled against my shoulder and said, "You’re still thinking about it." It was a statement, not a question.

"…Yeah."

She kissed my shoulder. "What can I do?" she asked.

"I don’t know what anyone can ‘do’. I think…it’ll maybe just go away." I wanted to bring up what Belle talked to me about but that wasn’t my secret to share.

She grimaced as she slid her legs over the side of the bed and leaned against me. She looked back at the bedspread. "Well, this’ll need to be washed," she sighed, smiling up at me. I didn’t smile back. "Jack…" She put a hand to my cheek.

"I just don’t know how to make it go away," I said, rubbing the heel of my palm against my eyebrow.

"Don’t try to—"

"I know I shouldn’t—sorry—I know I shouldn’t try to make it go away but it’s like…did you ever have braces?" She shook her head. "First week after I got them on was like…oh, you can’t even imagine it. My teeth were being yanked around and my mouth hurt all the time and I couldn’t even eat anything. I had to, like, gum it. And I had to go to school like this and they didn’t have a soup option. Everyone kept telling me that the first few days are the worst and that it’ll get better and…yeah, it did, but…shit, it doesn’t make those first few days better. And with this…" I couldn’t continue.

"I know. It would be nice to just skip to everything being okay again."

"Right?"

She leaned up to kiss my cheek. "I don’t know what to do about that."

"Neither do I. And it sucks."

"Yeah, it does…" She chewed her lip. "Jack…about what happened between us…"

I looked at her quickly. "I thought everything was okay."

"Well, it is between us, but…Tara is something else."

"…I’m confused."

She looked up at me with a strange expression, then got out of the bed on shaky legs and pulled open the door to her closet. I could only stare, too shocked to say anything. Standing amidst the hanging clothes, with an expression of shy mortification, was Tara.

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. And that was only realizing that she was actually here when I thought she was back home in the bath. It took a few seconds for the fact that she had just seen me and Kayla have sex to hit me and, when it did, it felt like a mini heart-attack.

"Come out," Kayla said calmly.

Tara meekly stepped out of the closet, one of her index fingers held in the other hand. She was wearing one of Kayla’s robes which, because of her height, made it clear that she was not wearing anything underneath. She looked at me and blushed so red, it looked like blood was seeping out of her skin.

"Wah…Tara…wha…" The sounds were made in my throat. My mouth wasn’t really involved.

"Tell him, Tara," Kayla said, not seeming to be shy about the fact that she was naked next to my cousin.

Tara bit her lip and looked at Kayla with a pleading look, but Kayla just shook her head. Tara turned back to me and took a deep breath before speaking, in a voice slightly higher and shakier than I was used to from her: "Jack…I really liked that kiss and I know you didn’t know it was me but…I knew you were kissing me. I really, really liked it." I didn’t speak. I couldn’t. She took another deep breath. "And the really selfish part of me has been wanting it to happen again. Which doubly sucks because I wanted you to be with Kayla and…well, it sucks. I know, I know, after yesterday, these really aren’t that big of an issue, but…" She trailed off.

Kayla put a hand on her shoulder, as much for support as anything (her legs still looked a little wobbly), and turned to me. "One of the things I asked Tara yesterday was why she let you kiss her and she said it was because it had been so long since she had been kissed by someone she knew cared about her." I remembered her saying something similar to me. "I asked her if she wanted to do it again and…well, she did. And does."

"Kayla, I’m your boyfriend."

"I know, sweetie. And Tara knows, too. But I also know that Tara’s been through a big list of douchebags who only want to fuck and then fuck off. Tara, how long did you say it’s been since you actually had a connection with the guy?"

This was for my benefit. I could tell by the way Kayla asked. "Too long," she replied quietly, "Maybe the guy who took my virginity?"

"How long ago was that?"

"…Two years ago."

Two years ago…She lost her virginity in middle school?!

"And I know what it’s like to be with a guy like that. You know I do. And it would be…unfair for Tara to leave thinking that the only things she has to remember this trip by are Carson—" She gave the word a venomous edge, "—and getting a kiss from you that wasn’t really for you."

"And almost breaking you up," Tara put in, somewhat eagerly. The hell was this?

"We would have been fine," Kayla said reassuringly, before turning back to me with a blush creeping into her cheeks, "So…Tara and I talked about it and…because she wants…needs and deserves to be with a guy who cares about her…I offered to let her join us."

My stomach vanished. I don’t know where it went. A magician somewhere took it. I didn’t even know how to respond except to gape and wait for them to continue.

"Only if you want," Tara said quickly, seeing my face, "I really want it and…Kayla’s okay with it. I think." She looked at Kayla shyly.

Kayla smiled. "I know how good I felt when Jack and I started dating. And the first time we had sex. And, if he wants, we can share that with you." She looked at me with a smile that was just a smile, not encouraging one way or the other.

"Kayla…I love you…just you…"

"I know you do, Jack. And I love you. And Tara loves you and I know you love her. We’re not forcing or demanding anything. But if this will give her a happy memory of her time here and give her the chance to feel something like what you and I always share and…put to bed any lingering thoughts she might have of doing something with you," she cast a playful glare at Tara, "then I’m fine with it. As long as you are."

"If you say no, I’m okay with it," Tara said quietly, biting her lip, "At least I’ll have that kiss to remember. I know the whole thing about us being cousins is weird but…I don’t care about that. I love you and I want this and if us being cousins weirds you out, I understand. It doesn’t for me."

"Nor for me," Kayla said calmly, giving me a knowing look.

How do I react? What do I say? This has just been dumped on me without so much as a by-your-leave. Holy shit…Tara…with me and Kayla…What the fuck do I even say to that?

My mind immediately drew the battleground. One the one hand, she was my cousin. I’m okay with Alan and Amanda but that doesn’t mean I want to get involved with it. I mean, I’ve always considered her more of a sister than a cousin, which makes it more…whatever word you use in this situation.

On the other hand, I loved her and I knew, better than Kayla, how bad her luck with guys was. I’m not fluffing myself up but I love her so much and I want her to be able to have the experience that I have with Kayla. If she really wants it from me, then I should try to do my best to make her happy.

Then again…There’s almost certainly another guy out there for her. A guy not related to her who will love her even more than I do. He’ll probably be even nicer and kinder than I try to be on a daily basis. The last thing I need is her perception of other guys getting warped by me until she isn’t giving any guy a chance because, well…they aren’t me.

But I trust her. I trust her to have more brains and sense than that. And after the whole thing with Carson…she deserves to have some joy with love and, yes, even sex. I could give that to her, whole-heartedly. And Kayla would be with us, too, so it’s not like I’m doing this just to get my rocks off.

Or am I? I’ll admit, seeing Tara in that robe is doing nothing to lower my already-erect dick. Yeah, growing up, I sometimes thought about her when I jerked off, along with about half the other girls I knew. The last thing I needed was to make a decision based on wanting to fuck a hot girl and trying to convince myself that it was for a deeper reason that didn’t really exist.

On the other hand…she’s gorgeous.

But so is Kayla. And she’s my girlfriend!

But they’re both fine with it!

Fuck.

What the hell do I do? It was a stalemate in my mind and I had no one to turn to for help. I stared at the two girls, both looking back at me expectantly, and knew I had to give them an answer. Yes or no…yes or no…

My mind raced furiously, battling over an answer to a question I never thought would be presented to me.

What do I do?

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