What do you really need

I asked a friend who has two children what she really couldn't do without and she said three things : a sling, a relax-chair and plenty of underwear (bodysuits and all-in-ones that can be easily and frequently washed).

I can say now, Roos being nearly 12 weeks now, that she was right. Untill 10 weeks she didn't like lying flat and only managed to lie down all night when she was carried upright during the day. So the sling was the solution. But there are moments that mammie has to take a shower so than I put her in a relax-chair on the floor of the bathroom and sang Scarborough Fair to her from under the shower and all went well :-) And about the plenty of underwear : it is true that you hardly need any other clothing apart from a cap and some woolen stuff (more later) the first two months or so and in my case it didn't have to be plenty because I use washable nappies so I have to wash every day anyway.

I also had a carchair (present from parents-in-law), a cot (new, untreated beechwood), a playpen (hand-down from cousin, wood), a buggy (secondhand and pimped by me :-)) and a dresser (from a collegue) with second hand nursing pillow by the time she was born but none of that was essential.
Since she was born at home the carchair was first used when she was 2 weeks old, the cot in our bedroom hasn't been used up till now, when I put her in the it she wakes up every hour and has to be lulled again but we all sleep well when she lies in our bed. The playpen is in the livingroom and cosily fitted with a sheepskin and a decorative mosquitonet (to keep the cats out :-)) and there she sleeps regularly during the day now so you could call it kind of an essential. The buggy I bought for the grandparents who are not comfortable with the sling-idea but it hasn't been used up till now because it was to cold and I find the sling easier. But it will be nice when she is bigger. The dresser and nursing pillow are handy of course. The only thing you need a seperate baby-room for is to put all the babystuff in but when you don't have to much babystuff you don't need the room. I have no idea how long Roos will sleep in our room, time will show, but there is clearly plenty of time to prepare her own room.

Now, it is one thing to think what you want and need but an other to make this clear to 'gift-givers' without making anyone feel bad or rejected. But after hearing friends complaining about the amounts of unwanted and unneeded gifts they received for the birth of their doughter we decided to add a little sentence to the birth card offering people the opportunity to come and visit us without bringing a present.

Some of our childless friends comment : “ How nice! You can have a baby and not have your house suddenly explode with multicoloured babystuff!”